Her father had cast doubts upon the innocence of my
friendship; and these, it was my first business to allay. But
there is a kind of an excuse for Catriona also. We had shared in a
scene of some tenderness and passion, and given and received
caresses: I had thrust her from me with violence; I had called
aloud upon her in the night from the one room to the other; she had
passed hours of wakefulness and weeping; and it is not to be
supposed I had been absent from her pillow thoughts. Upon the back
of this, to be awaked, with unaccustomed formality, under the name
of Miss Drummond, and to be thenceforth used with a great deal of
distance and respect, led her entirely in error on my private
sentiments; and she was indeed so incredibly abused as to imagine
me repentant and trying to draw off!
The trouble betwixt us seems to have been this: that whereas I
(since I had first set eyes on his great hat) thought singly of
James More, his return and suspicions, she made so little of these
that I may say she scarce remarked them, and all her troubles and
doings regarded what had passed between us in the night before.
This is partly to be explained by the innocence and boldness of her
character; and partly because James More, having sped so ill in his
interview with me, or had his mouth closed by my invitation, said
no word to her upon the subject. At the breakfast, accordingly, it
soon appeared we were at cross purposes. I had looked to find her
in clothes of her own: I found her (as if her father were
forgotten) wearing some of the best that I had bought for her, and
which she knew (or thought) that I admired her in. I had looked to
find her imitate my affectation of distance, and be most precise
and formal; instead I found her flushed and wild-like, with eyes
extraordinary bright, and a painful and varying expression, calling
me by name with a sort of appeal of tenderness, and referring and
deferring to my thoughts and wishes like an anxious or a suspected
wife.
But this was not for long. As I behold her so regardless of her
own interests, which I had jeopardised and was now endeavouring to
recover, I redoubled my own coldness in the manner of a lesson to
the girl. The more she came forward, the farther I drew back; the
more she betrayed the closeness of our intimacy, the more pointedly
civil I became, until even her father (if he had not been so
engrossed with eating) might have observed the opposition. In the
midst of which, of a sudden, she became wholly changed, and I told
myself, with a good deal of relief, that she had took the hint at
last.
All day I was at my classes or in quest of my new lodging; and
though the hour of our customary walk hung miserably on my hands, I
cannot say but I was happy on the whole to find my way cleared, the
girl again in proper keeping, the father satisfied or at least
acquiescent, and myself free to prosecute my love with honour. At
supper, as at all our meals, it was James More that did the
talking. No doubt but he talked well if anyone could have believed
him. But I will speak of him presently more at large. The meal at
an end, he rose, got his great coat, and looking (as I thought) at
me, observed he had affairs abroad. I took this for a hint that I
was to be going also, and got up; whereupon the girl, who had
scarce given me greeting at my entrance, turned her eyes upon me
wide open with a look that bade me stay. I stood between them like
a fish out of water, turning from one to the other; neither seemed
to observe me, she gazing on the floor, he buttoning his coat:
which vastly swelled my embarrassment. This appearance of
indifference argued, upon her side, a good deal of anger very near
to burst out. Upon his, I thought it horribly alarming; I made
sure there was a tempest brewing there; and considering that to be
the chief peril, turned towards him and put myself (so to speak) in
the man's hands.