This was
counted a most insidious device; and that the name of James More
should be mingled up with it filled me with shame for Catriona and
concern for myself.
The following day, Prestongrange and I, with a considerable
company, set out for Glasgow, where (to my impatience) we continued
to linger some time in a mixture of pleasure and affairs. I lodged
with my lord, with whom I was encouraged to familiarity; had my
place at entertainments; was presented to the chief guests; and
altogether made more of than I thought accorded either with my
parts or station; so that, on strangers being present, I would
often blush for Prestongrange. It must be owned the view I had
taken of the world in these last months was fit to cast a gloom
upon my character. I had met many men, some of them leaders in
Israel whether by their birth or talents; and who among them all
had shown clean hands? As for the Browns and Millers, I had seen
their self-seeking, I could never again respect them.
Prestongrange was the best yet; he had saved me, spared me rather,
when others had it in their minds to murder me outright; but the
blood of James lay at his door; and I thought his present
dissimulation with myself a thing below pardon. That he should
affect to find pleasure in my discourse almost surprised me out of
my patience. I would sit and watch him with a kind of a slow fire
of anger in my bowels. "Ah, friend, friend," I would think to
myself, "if you were but through with this affair of the memorial,
would you not kick me in the streets?" Here I did him, as events
have proved, the most grave injustice; and I think he was at once
far more sincere, and a far more artful performer, than I supposed.
But I had some warrant for my incredulity in the behaviour of that
court of young advocates that hung about in the hope of patronage.
The sudden favour of a lad not previously heard of troubled them at
first out of measure; but two days were not gone by before I found
myself surrounded with flattery and attention. I was the same
young man, and neither better nor bonnier, that they had rejected a
month before; and now there was no civility too fine for me! The
same, do I say? It was not so; and the by-name by which I went
behind my back confirmed it. Seeing me so firm with the Advocate,
and persuaded that I was to fly high and far, they had taken a word
from the golfing green, and called me THE TEE'D BALL. {14} I was
told I was now "one of themselves"; I was to taste of their soft
lining, who had already made my own experience of the roughness of
the outer husk; and one, to whom I had been presented in Hope Park,
was so aspired as even to remind me of that meeting. I told him I
had not the pleasure of remembering it.
"Why" says he, "it was Miss Grant herself presented me! My name is
so-and-so."
"It may very well be, sir," said I; "but I have kept no mind of
it."
At which he desisted; and in the midst of the disgust that commonly
overflowed my spirits I had a glisk of pleasure.
But I have not patience to dwell upon that time at length. When I
was in company with these young politics I was borne down with
shame for myself and my own plain ways, and scorn for them and
their duplicity. Of the two evils, I thought Prestongrange to be
the least; and while I was always as stiff as buckram to the young
bloods, I made rather a dissimulation of my hard feelings towards
the Advocate, and was (in old Mr. Campbell's word) "soople to the
laird." Himself commented on the difference, and bid me be more of
my age, and make friends with my young comrades.
I told him I was slow of making friends.
"I will take the word back," said he. "But there is such a thing
as FAIR GUDE S'EN AND FAIR GUDE DAY, Mr. David. These are the same
young men with whom you are to pass your days and get through life:
your backwardness has a look of arrogance; and unless you can
assume a little more lightness of manner, I fear you will meet
difficulties in the path."
"It will be an ill job to make a silk purse of a sow's ear," said
I.